Sunday, December 27, 2009

My Knitting Project: Preemie Caps + Heart Blanket

If you ever read my bio (check it out... top left) you would know that I am an avid knitter.  I was just chilling at my parent's place tonight and decided to finish my latest projects: A Preemie Cap and a Heart Blanket.

I have seriously been working on the Heart blanket for over 1.5 years.  Yes... a year and a half.  Why?  Because this was one of my first knitting projects.  I am such a perfectionist that I started this blanket more than 10 times! Don't believe me?  Ask my DH... he'll tell you how I screamed at him each time I made a mistake.  I'd rant and rave that he was talking too loudly or that he touched me at a crucial point in my project.  I didn't know how to fix any of my mistakes which caused me to pull the entire thing apart and would drive my DH up the wall because he couldn't understand how I could just rip apart an entire afternoon's worth of work!

But I have improved (Thank GOODNESS) and I am finally FINISHING my projects.  I hope you guys all enjoy them!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Back Off!

I need people to stop asking me how I'm doing.  My usual response is "I am doing fine.  Don't worry about me."  That translates into "If you don't stop ****ing asking me about how I'm doing, I'm going to smack you."

How the (bleep) do you think I'm doing?!  How would you feel if you were in my shoes? My husband is deployed on his second tour to Iraq, I'm living alone with my two cats.  I AM MISERABLE PEOPLE!  IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?!  Do you really want to hear that I'm having a hard time letting go and that the entire wait is killing me?  Do you want to hear that my stress level is so high lately that I'm gaining weight and that I'm breaking out like crazy?!  DO YOU?!?!  Do you really want to talk to me about how poorly I'm doing and how unhappy I am? No!  You don't want to hear the whole story!!!!!!!!!!!

No wonder I burden my friends with talking about him incessantly (I'm sorry R.L.).  Seriously!  I hate all couples so I like to avoid ALL public places.

Seriously, people.  If you don't want to know... PLEASE STOP ASKING ME!!!

My DH is Nick Lachey?

I just had a very interesting dream.  In my dream, my best friend asked me to double date with him.  This is where I met my boyfriend, Nick Lachey, an Army officer (go figure...).

According to my dream, I was an underground operative, resisting the powers of the evil government.  Now Nick and I were both fighting against this powerful regime and I was in charge of paperwork for some operation.  We both load up into our van (we sat all the way in the back while the rest of our team got in) and as he checks my folder of massive paperwork, insisting that something is missing.  I start to panic and quickly double check everything when Nick announces that he has the missing paperwork.

When I turn around to face him, he is holding out a little clear plastic bag with the words "Clear Sky Jewelry" etched on the front.  In the midst of all the tissue paper lies a little velvet box.  I immediately start freaking out and hyperventilating as he asks me if I would marry him!

The ring is beautiful... a vintage style ring with a huge diamond in the middle and tiny little pearls surrounding the stone yet some of the pearls were missing.  I am floored and completely speechless as he explains that the ring belonged to his Great Grandmother and has been passed down for generations which accounts for the missing gems. He promises me that he would have the pearls replaced after a year.

I am delighted none-the-less (I mean it's Nick Lachey....!)  and nod happily at the notion that we will get married.  At this point I asked him why it would take him a year to get the ring repaired.  In the midst of making out with him... I realize that he has been caught by the government for illegal activities against them and he would have to go to prison for a year.  He was proposing to me while en route to the courthouse....

Of course this is when I woke up.  I'm pretty sure that Nick Lachey is suppose to be the representation of my DH.  The proposal that I received from my DH was absolutely amazing;  although I did have an inkling that it was coming.  Nick's proposal was a complete surprise and it was nice to see what that felt like.

Now, the fact that Nick was going to prison... I attribute to this to the fact that this is how it felt to have my DH deploy to Iraq.  The Ring?  Well, my DH's going away present was my awesome blackberry storm...  The paperwork... Argh... my DH is a freak about making sure I am always prepared and double checks everything that I do.

Ah... that was a good night's rest ... even though I technically dream cheated on my DH....

Boudoir Photos

A very close friend of mine is a professional photographer.  Her work is pretty amazing.  Feel free to check her out at :Triple 8 Photography.  If you're in the Albuquerque area and interested in finding someone to take beautiful photos of you, she's your girl!

We were talking today about how many people ask her for boudoir photos.  She explained that many people now take boudoir pictures for their future husband-to-be.  They order albums that they present to their Fiance on the day of their wedding (talk about something to look forward too!).

Knowing that my DH is not reading my blog, I am considering getting some done for him.  Boudoir photos are not necessarily erotic (unless you want them to be...) but can be done very tastefully.  I think there might be some rule about how explicit materials are not allowed to be shipped to deployed soldiers... also, the mail is checked before your soldier receives his packages.  But I'm not worried about other soldiers looking through any photos that I send my DH as long as they like what they see =P

Seriously, though.  I think I'd like to get some photos and send them to my husband before he comes back from his deployment.... so that he has something to look forward to.  What does everyone else think?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Army Navy 2009

I will be updating soon... hopefully with good news.... never mind... that was depressing....

Friday, December 11, 2009

Silent Treatment

My DH and I are fighting.  I am giving him the silent treatment.  This means that my phone has been turned off and my email has not been read since Sunday.

There are many times when my DH has stated that I do not present him in the best light on this blog.  However, I think that there are times when I present him in as the world's best military husband.  This is not the reason why we're fighting.  

It is not my intention to put my DH down.  We are not the world's most perfect couple; we definitely have our share of marital problems.  My DH is deployed and this makes our relationship complicated in ways that are completely different from a civilian marriage.  So, please don't give me any advice or opinion unless you really understand my situation or empathize with what I am going through.  If not, I will rip your comment apart if I deem it even remotely stupid.

Now, I don't want comments that tell me that giving him the silent treatment is bad for our marriage.  Really, I'm a full time family therapist; I'm not stupid.  However, if I were to speak to him right now, I would not be able to do so in a calm or rational manner.

Perhaps when I am no longer angry (I have no idea when this will be) I will update more frequently.  Right now, I am extremely unhappy about being a military spouse (which makes my blog name even more significant).

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I wish...

I wish I were married to a marine.

If I am wishing for anything, I wish were married to a civilian. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this s***** deployment.

Friday, December 4, 2009

My Divided Heart

During the end of our R&R time, I experience a wide array of emotions regarding my DH going back to the sandbox.  

My DH told me that he wanted to actually go back to Iraq during this time and this information really hit me hard.  My first thought was "WTF... he wants to leave me?  He's rather be in Iraq than be with me?" 

Now I don't know how many of you out there know this but I am SUPER FUN.  I can liven up a party with one smile and I am full of fun and interesting facts!  Alright, seriously.  Most people find me pretty entertaining (mostly because they laugh AT me).  

So I was really hurt by his words.  He explained that he wanted to go back because it was his duty, because of our financial goals, because he knew that he didn't have a choice.  But, I know that if he had a choice of staying home or going back to Iraq, he definitely would consider going back and finishing his tour.  

I feel as though I must reiterate this important fact.  I am REALLY fun be around.  I cook, I clean (neurotic clean), I watch ESPN (even though I seriously hate it), I try my hardest not to nag, I play video games, I am great in bed (oh you knew this was coming), etc... What would even make him consider finishing his tour!

Alright, I know I shouldn't take it personally but sometimes you can't help that way.  Being apart from one another is really difficult and I would really want my DH to choose me over everything else on this earth.  However, I realized that he wants to finish his mission; I can recognize how important his military duty is to him.  

Although it logically all makes sense, I wish my heart would follow my mind...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

My Dear Husband

I realized that when I refer to my husband as "my DH" many people might confuse this with his real initials.  When I refer to him as "my DH" I mean "my dear husband."

After reading my blog, my DH loved his new nickname and started referring to me as his "DW" or "dear wife."  Now in no way am I staking any physical claim to him.  I love my DH and there are times when I can become a *little* controlling.... but he is his own man, with the freedom to do whatever he chooses to do!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Twilight ... New Moon movie (not a review)

Before my DH went back to the sandbox, he requested that I go and watch the new Twilight movie with my friends.  We watched the first Twilight movie together only after my DH told me that he was interested.  Being crazy, I told him that I would only watch the movie if I read the book.  I went and picked up a copy of the book from my closest bookstore and finished within several hours.  I became completely obsessed and read the next three books in four days.  In the end, I hated the series (the reason why will be posted in a future blog).

My DH called today and asked me if I had found anyone to watch "New Moon" with me.  I argued that I only wanted to watch the movie with him and that I would wait the six months so that we could watch the movie together.  My DH was insistent that I watched without him and we came up with a compromised;  My DH would wait off on watching the movie if I couldn't find anyone to watch the movie with me within the week.  Another condition was that I must sincerely try to find people to watch with me.  

At this point, it felt as though he wanted to watch the movie so much that he was going out of the way to make sure that I would watch the movie (Just read the book!).  But, I gave in and convinced two of my friends to join me in watching the movie.

However, a part of me understands that my DH wants me to go out and start hanging out with my friends instead of staying at home and moping around.  He sincerely wants me to be more sociable and keep my mind off this deployment through social interactions.  

Another part of me also wanted to see this movie because my DH had requested that watch.  A part of me wants to do all the things that he's asked of me.  For some odd reason, it helps me feel closer to him.  I know that having watched this movie will genuinely make him happy.   

I am glad that I was able to go and spend some time not thinking about my spouse (mmm... this could go either way...).  I think I definitely needed the distraction.... Thanks to my friends RL and JHK.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Deployment Blues

As many of you know, I am a social worker in the PA area.  The trouble with my job is that I tend to psychoanalyze just about everyone I meet (What a job hazard)!  Seriously, even the girl at the cash register in my local grocery store; I start to wonder what her childhood was like, what she's doing working at the grocery store, what problems are going on with her social, family and emotional life.

If I am able to psychoanalyze the girl at behind the counter, I am definitely going to apply this to my own life.  In short, I am grieving about the loss of my DH for a short while (another six months).  Many therapists use the Kubler-Ross Model that goes through the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  Mind you, you go through these five stages before and after a loss.  You can also regress or even skip a step depending on how you grieve.

Here is my depiction of the last few days:

*As I am reading through this little cartoon, I realized that there are a billion grammatical mistakes.  I don't have the time now to go through all of these so please forgive me and I promise to fix them later!  Thanks!

My next topic: The Emotional Cycle of Deployment guidelines written by the U.S. Army vs the Kubler-Ross Cycle!  More to come!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Back to reality....

The last two weeks were absolutely fabulous!  My DH and I truly enjoyed our time together; gourmet and cozy bed and breakfast in PA and a gorgeous views and fantastic weather in Jamaica.

Here is an interesting fact: every time my DH leaves to go to Iraq, I am sick!  During his first deployment I had a small cold, when he left after R&R I had a severe cold.  When he left for his second deployment, I had another severe cold and this time I had a bout of the flu and cold.  So I physically get sicker and sicker every time he leaves... I wonder if it's psychological....

Anyone else have this problem??

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Too Many Husbands....

There are not many things in the world that beats sleepily waking up next to a warm and cozy body.  Mmm.... Luckily my DH is back for R&R and we have been spending our most of our mornings in bed (this is my way of making all of you jealous...).

So I was extremely perplexed when I received a message from my DH's rear detachment unit, two days after my DH came back, informing me that my husband would be coming home in the next few days.  I immediately called the operator (Debbie) back at Fort Riley to clear up this mistake.

When Debbie picked up the phone and I gave her my information, she went on to congratulate me on my DH's return home.  I graciously accepted her thanks but told her that my DH had been home for two days and she answered "So, he missed the re-deployment ceremony?"

Now, I was really confused!  I informed her that my DH was back home for R&R, not coming home permanently.  As Debbie checked the Army database she found out that there was another soldier on post who shares the exact same name as my DH!  This man came back to Fort Riley right around the same time as my DH was coming home for R&R.  Somehow, the databased had wiped out the other soldiers' Point of Contacts (POC's) and decided to just list me as his wife!

As I was telling my DH about this interesting situation, he grinned and slyly asked me if I got married to another man while he was deployed.  I jokingly told him I had but that I divorced him before he came back.  To this my DH replied "Then, perhaps you should ask him for alimony."  Lol... hilarious...

Monday, November 2, 2009


My DH is home for R&R! Yay!  Will see you all in two weeks!

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Time Traveler's Wife - The Movie

I read the book The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger a while ago just for fun.  I actually thought the book was well written and had a very interesting concept.  It did drag a little in the middle but picked back up when Henry (main character) met his daughter Alba for the first time.  I enjoyed the read and it comes highly recommended from me.  

However, I hadn't had a chance to see the movie until tonight.  What I realized is that this is absolutely the WORST movie to see while your spouse is deployed.  What a MISTAKE!  Holy Crap.  I feel like the time traveler's wife.  I feel like my husband comes and goes, in and out of my life (although I usually have an idea of when he's going and for how long.  I also know when he's coming back...roughly).  But WOW... I feel as like "Clare" sometimes, forever waiting for my husband to come back home. 

Oh my goodness, all I have to say is if you're significant other is away from you right now ... read the book but definitely don't watch the movie.  My heart is pounding a million miles a minute right now... I am definitely really emotional and I think I might just cry....

Sunday, October 25, 2009

"You know You're a Military Spouse ..."

.... when your favorite couch throw is a 'woobie.'

Now I don't know if other military branches issue a "woobie" but the army certainly does!  What is a "woobie?"  It is actually a poncho liner made from nylon with a polyester filling.  Your "woobie" provides just the right amount of warmth in cool weather.  Many soldiers use it as an extra blanket, a sleeping bag, or a throw blanket for their living room.

Although there are so many beautiful throws blankets out there, many military families prefer their "woobies."  Perhaps because it is so lightweight and comfortable.  Perhaps because we don't want to invest the $50 to buy a nice hotel luxury heavyweight chenille throw (ahh...). Or perhaps because the "woobie" is machine washable, durable and pet friendly.  Yes, it's definitely a bit tacky but nylon just feels so good against your skin!

My "woobie" is currently in the sandbox with my DH.  Sometimes, I think that I should have fought harder to keep our "woobie" at home...

I can not sleep without...

I am a very light sleeper.  I wake up every time my DH shifts in the bed, snores, makes funny whining noise (oh wait... that's me!) etc... I am also extremely sensitive to sunlight.  Once the sun hits my face, my biological clock tells me that it time to wake up, no matter how unreasonably early it might be (you know... eight is early!).

Since purchasing my sleep mask, I have slept like a baby all night long.  I seriously will not sleep well without my mask.  The mask is gentle, breathable and block out all the light in the morning.  I feel more rested and alert after sleeping with my sleep mask.

However, I have this tendency of losing things... all the time.  There are times when I have lost my sleep mask for a couple of nights at a time, desperately searching throughout the apartment trying to find it.  In total, I have three different sleep masks because of this particular ... ah... problem.

So don't blame your bed, the pillows, or the sheets if you're not getting good night's sleep*; Just buy a sleep mask!

*Alright fine.  It might be your squeaky bed, your flat pillows and your crappy sheets.  But it doesn't hurt to try the sleep mask!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hello Kitty Underwear

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can convince my DH to wear the following?

When I was in high school, my nickname was Hello Kitty (something about how pale I was and the pigtails...).  Since then, I've always loved Hello Kitty products (although I've given them up since I've gotten married).  I was looking online for the newest Hello Kitty products when I came across this pair of underwear.  I can't seem to find where they are selling these though...

Oh my goodness!  I NEED TO GET THIS CORSET!  Lol... if only they sold this at Fredericks!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tired of Sleeping Alone

I am tired of sleeping alone.
Yes, I am very lucky to be married to a wonderful and loving husband.
Even though our bed is woefully tight at times...
I am sick of going to bed by myself.
No, my cats don't count.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"You know You're a Military Spouse ..." Series

I am starting a new "You know you're a military spouse if ..." series.  Why?  Probably because I am running out of topics of military related issues.  It is becoming increasingly difficult to write about personal problems regarding the military when I live way off-post and my DH is deployed.

Our topic of today: You know you're a military spouse ... when you can't remember the last four digits of your social security number.

This happens to me all the time!  I have memorized my social security number since my senior year of high school.  I wrote it down hundreds of time since then for college applications, transcriptions, medical records, job applications, etc... Yet, ever since I got married, there are times when I have to take a moment before answering the USAA bank operator.

If you ask for my DH's social security number, I can rattle it off in my sleep.  When I am asked for my own SSN, I get confused and mix up the numbers!  Completely ridiculous.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Upcoming R&R

After approximately 1 million hours of intensive and comprehensive research, I have finally finalized the plans for our upcoming R&R.

My DH and I will be spend our first couple of nights at a cozy Pennsylvania B&B; this room includes a King-sized bed, two-person whirlpool bath and gas fireplace.  Then we will be travelling to Jamaica!  4.5 star hotel, white beaches, free-alcoholic beverages and butler service for five nights and six days.  Come home again and spend some quality time with our two cute and adorable cats.  I am so excited and I can't wait!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Care Packages

Since I no longer live on or near a military post/base/camp (lol...) and because my DH is deployed, topics of why I am a terrible military spouse are becoming a bit scarce.  However, there are always something to write about.

Care Packages.  I hate sending care packages.  Not because I don't love my husband!  It honestly has nothing to do with that at all!  It's because I always get a huge box and I start to run out of stuff to put into them.  I also have trouble finding good care package items.

All those "lists" have items like Gatorade mixes, beef jerky and toiletries.  However, my DH never wants me to send him any of those things.  Last time, he asked for tuna, nuts, microwaveable rice, cup ramen, headphones, a korean-english dictionary, a mixed cd, movies, and workout gloves.  If my DH had not sent me this list, I would have ended up giving him twenty bags of goldfish snacks and a pair of dumbbells!

My poor DH doesn't get a care package from me very often.  He got one every two to three weeks the first time he was deployed whether or not he asked for one.  Yet, I have only sent my husband packages when he's asked for them during this deployment.  I have also not sent as many handwritten letters as I had the first time around.

Is this laziness?  Lack of motivation?  I'm not sure if I truly want to dig too much deeper into my own psyche and try to find the underlying reason for my behavior.  I think I'm just going to blame it on the fact that I truly am the world's worst military spouse =D.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I love my DH

My DH said that I was making him look like the bad guy on my blog. So I just want you to know... I love you! I miss you terribly and can't wait for R&R so that we can spend some quality time with one another. Muah!

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Re-deployment Ceremony

Recently, another blogger Bethany shared about how anxious she is about waiting for her fiancee to come home.  I was in her shoes only a couple of years ago. Just thinking about her at home, patiently waiting for her man to come back, really pushed me to write about my own experience of my DH's re-deployment*.

At the time, my DH was stationed out of Fort Carson,Colorado; the beautiful and majestic mountain post.  This was his first deployment to Iraq and he was scheduled to come back to the states on the 31st of December**.  I was living in Philadelphia area at the time, finishing up my masters degree, working a part-time job, interning at behavioral/mental clinic, and planning a wedding.  However, I felt that time was just dragging her feet.  I was so excited about seeing my DH for the first time in 9 months but also so nervous about what it would be like to finally have him home.  I wondered what it would be like to hug him and kiss him.  I daydreamed about my outfit and spent hours meticulously planning the perfect one.   When I finally bought my airplane ticket to Colorado, I prayed that his unit would come soon so that I wouldn't miss his re-deployment ceremony or miss him altogether!

I didn't sleep the night before my plane left Philadelphia (it was also a six am flight).  When I finally landed in Colorado, I was greeted by my DH's friend Jon and we left to meet his parents.  Jon was in the same unit as my DH but came in a few days earlier.  His parents were still in town so the four of us went to check in on post around 2:00 PM.

When I stepped into that huge hanger/auditorium/basketball court, I was really jittery! They had put up balloons, a huge American flag on the wall and people were waiting around, excitedly talking to one another.  I walked in a little bit further and came onto a desk.  The person behind the desk asked "What unit is your service member in ma'am?"   At the preciese moment, my mind completely went blank.  I seriously could not remember what unit my DH was in.  I must have given her this weird face because she looked at me with an expression of extreme disappointment and annoyance.  Thankfully, Jon was there, so he answered her question.   However, she told us that my DH's flight had been delayed and that his unit's ceremony would start at 6:00 PM.

So there was nothing much that I could do for the next few hours but wait.  Jon and his parents went to go grab some lunch but I was too nervous to eat.  There was another re-deployment ceremony at 3:00 PM and I wanted to watch it before my DH came (so that I could prepare myself).  I told them that I would save them seats and waved them goodbye.

The first re-deployment ceremony was simple and brief.  Over 200 soldiers stood in front of a large audience longingly waiting for the ceremony to be over so that they could see their families.  I could see little children were crying out when they recognized their father or mother in the sea of faces and family members holding them back until the end.  When the general finally yelled "Dismissed," you saw a flood of soldiers running to be hugged by their loved ones and tears freely flowing down everyone's faces.  Children ran to their parents, yelling "I missed you."  It is honestly a moment that I can never forget.

I tried very hard to keep my tears back as I watched these families being reunited with one another.  Slowly, the families dispersed out of the hanger and I was left alone to wait for the 6:00 ceremony.  Jon and his parents came back to around 5:30 and we sat around waiting for the ceremony to begin.  Twice, someone came up to the podium to apologize for the delay and we did not see our soldiers walking in through the big double doors until 7:30 PM.

I numbly sat through the National Anthem, the speech, the singing of the Army song, waiting for my DH to be released.  Throughout the entire 15 minute ceremony, I searched through every face of the 200+ men and women, trying desperately to find my DH.  When the soldiers were finally dismissed, I was panicked because neither Jon, his parents nor I could find him through the chaos of reuniting families.

About two minutes when by when Jon pointed towards the right side of the hanger and said "Hey! Isn't that him?  He looks tall, dark and Asian!" I turned my head so quickly to the place the he was pointing to that I almost had a severe case of whiplash.  However, the man that Jon was pointing to turned out to be another tall, dark and Asian man (what are the odds?).

Several more minutes went by and finally I spotted my DH in the middle of the hanger; his head was hanging low and he looked very forlorn.  I shoved my video camera into Jon's hand, ran down the bleachers, weaved through a million people,and when I finally reached my soldier, he gave me a surprised look and a great big ole smile as he took me into his arms.

My DH tried to kiss me but I told him that we couldn't because we were being videotaped (I didn't think our parents wanted to see us make out)***.  From the moment I said these words, I began to earnestly cry.  I was so thankful and grateful to God to allowing him to come home safely.  The deployment had really tested the strength of our relationship and taken a toll on both of us but we were finally together again.

*Re-deployment: how stupid is this word?  It's really confusing for civilians and military spouses (like me).  The words makes it sound like you're going to another deployment, not coming back from one.

** My DH's deployment was extended from the original 12 months to a 15 month deployment.  George W. Bush signed a bill that would give soldiers an extra $1000 bucks for each month after their 12 month initial deployment date.  Technically, the military had to pay soldiers the extra money for each DAY that they were on their deployment; so if the soldier came back on the 1st of January the soldiers would be entitled to the extra $1000 bonus. He came home on the 31st of December and not the first of January because the military did not want to pay him an extra $1000. I personally would have given the $3000 back to have my DH come home three months early.

*** I watched the video tape afterwards and you can see me pointing towards Jon and his parents.  This was the moment when I told him that we couldn't just make out because I thought our families + Jon would be grossed out my our intimate moment!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

"I was away for too long..."

Military relationships are notorious for producing affairs.  There are so many stories of military relationships failing due to one or both parties falling prey to their own physical and emotional desires.  Honestly, can you blame someone for having an affair when their partners are away for months at a time? No, How about if the deployed service member ignores his/her partner and doesn't keep in touch their their partner at home?  What if the deployed service member is the one conducting the affair?

What bothers me the most is that servicemembers are not responsible for their actions while they are away from home*.  The servicemember's partner get more heat (especially if they live on post) about the infidelity because they failed their partner who were serving overseas, putting their lives on the line.

An affair is the product of BOTH parties.  The lack of communication, laziness in martial duties, decrease commitment towards one another increases the likelihood of extramarital relations.  The phrase "I was away for too long" is an excuse for the lack of effort.**

*Alright, I'm not stupid.  I know that there are consequences for the servicemember as well.  Yes, you would be violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  When there is sufficient proof that the affair took place then punishments range from a simple reprimand to a court-martial.  In this blog, I just want to highlight the extra blame and guilt the non-deployed or civilian spouse suffer because of their mistake.

** Please note: this post is really just a rant and simplified version of the infidelity argument.  So please, don't bash my post... too much!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

How many times have you heard this phrase from your significant other?  "I'll make it up to you, I promise!"  I hate hearing these words from my DH.  I mean I've heard it so many times!  "I have to go into work early" or "I have to stay at work late" or "I can't fly out this weekend because of a training" or my favorite, "we have to go to this hail and farewell" etc.  There is nothing he can do to make up the precious moments (years really) that the military takes away from our personal lives.  Sometimes I seriously wonder what he could possibly do to make it up and it's not even his fault (well, I guess he did make the choice to join the military).

Well, I didn't get to choose who I fell in love with*.  There are many times when I feel stuck by the limited and crappy choices that the military gives us and we just have to make the best of an awful situation.

I have to admit that I haven't personally heard this phrase in a while.  Not because there isn't an issue that would require my husband to feel guilty but I honestly think it's because I've just learned to stop complaining about the military.

One of the ways that my DH is planning on "making it up to me" spending our upcoming R&R time at a faraway bech.  Yet, I have to wonder, is it worth it?  Would I rather spend two glorious weeks on a beautiful resort with my husband who will pamper with me with massages and great food once a year or would I prefer to be with him day in and day out even though it means that we might get into more arguments because we would have more time to interact with one another?

Honestly, I would pick the latter and save the "make it up to me's." Besides, the sad thing about it is... after the hundreds of times that he's told me this, this seems to be the FIRST time he is making it up to me. A bit unfair, don't ya think?

* I don't want to hear "oh, but you did have a choice."  No, I did not! So shut it.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Frederick's of Hollywood

The King of Prussia Mall is largest mall on the East Coast and I am lucky enough to live 15 minutes away!  This place has over 400 stores including Tiffany's, Cartier, Bloomingdale's, Nordstrom, and of course, Louis Vuitton.

I was at the mall with my friend when we decided to stop by Frederick's of Hollywood.  For those who don't know, Fredrick's of Hollywood sells very sexy lingerie.  Right now, they have the sexiest Halloween costumes at affordable prices.  As I looked around, I saw these cute corsets and I had to try them on.

I have always wanted to buy a tie up corset but I was afraid.  I didn't know if someone with my body could look good... even sexy, in something so skimpy.  However, all I can say is that corsets really show off all the curves of your body!  Even if your body shape is less than perfect, a corset will produce curves in all the right places.  When I sat down in my corset, I immediately noticed that my posture improves because the boning forces you to sit up straight.

Guess my DH has something to look forward to when he comes home =D


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Trader Joe's

I know that many of you live on post so you probably shop at the commissary.  However, I must write a plug-in for Trader Joe's!  What a great store; the food is of terrific quality, the workers are so friendly and the prices are great.

They carry everything there.  Looking for olives?  How about some Soy IceCream?  They even have Korean BBQ ribs for $7.99 a bag (perhaps not worth it for me, since I can make my own).  Need to buy gluten-free flour?  How about vegan meatballs?  Kosher items?  Low Sodium?  They even have their own brand of pet products including doggie bones and cat kibble.  They have sushi, a large assortment of cheese, granola, and even cuts of meat!  There is no need to go to your local grocery store.

Around the holidays they stock up on the "Peppermint JoJo's."  They are the Trader Joe's version of the oreo, with crushed peppermint candy mixed into the cream.  They are so delicious!  As my DH knows, I am in love with all this peppermint (shampoo, soap, and definitely the candy).

So please check out their website: Trader's Joes.  Find a store near you!


So my husband wanted to comment on my Korean wives post (the one I wrote several days ago).  Apparently there is something wrong with my post but I have no idea what it is because I asked my DH not to tell me.  I was in a really bad mood today and I didn't think that I could handle listening to his criticism.

Criticism vs Concern: Criticism is when you disapprove through the expression of fault or shortcoming.  A concern is an interest where you express what is important to you or affects you.  I hear his comment towards my blog entry as a criticism.  Yes, I understand that he cares about me and he wants me to get the facts straight.  However, this is due to my obvious shortcoming (in his opinion) about my knowledge surrounding the topic of other military Korean wives.  ::sigh::  maybe he's right but honestly,  I don't want to hear it.  I am extremely shy about my writing and I did not ask for a critique on my writing style or the subjects that I am writing about.

I feel judged by my DH's comments.  I guess in my head, I just always want to be right and perfect in his eyes.  Yet, when I don't live up to that expectation (because of something he said) then the insecurities begin to fester inside me.  I begin to question everything he is says to me; minutely analyzing each sentence, trying to figure out if there is a hidden meaning behind his words.

I guess it's important to me that my DH finds me well informed and educated about many different topics.  I want to please my DH by showing off my intelligence.  Craziness huh?  Pretty insecure you say?  I am ok with it.  I'd rather be completely honest about myself.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

5 Year Anniversary

Today is my five year anniversary!  I can just see it now; my DH is shaking his head at me from 5,000 miles away....

Alright, so our wedding anniversary is in June but today marks the first day we decided to date.  This is incredible for me for I have a huge fear of commitment (I also have trust issues but that's another subject altogether).  My DH has stated that he no longer wants to celebrate this day because he just wants to focus on our wedding anniversary.  However, it's difficult for me to let this day go because it proves (in a weird way) how much I love my husband.

For the last five years, I have dated the same man.  I've changed and aged so much but yet my DH continues to love me.  I think that's incredible (for me anyway).  To my DH - hunnie, even if you don't want to celebrate this day, I'm going to continue to remember this day in some fashion for the rest of my life.  So next year, don't forget to get me a gift =D

*these are the earrings that match the necklace that my DH got me for our first year anniversary


Monday, September 28, 2009

Army Football

I love the Army, Black Knights, Football team.  I do.  I really really do.

I don't care about the NY Giants or the Jets (even though I'm from NY originally).  Both my undergraduate and graduate education did not have a football team, so I didn't really have a team to root for... until I got married!  So I adopted and embraced the Army Football team as my own.

I've watched them play for the last five years and each year has been more and more heartbreaking.  They are terrible!  No, seriously, they really suck.  They have lost the Army Navy Game SEVEN years in a row ... 7!  Last year, they lost the game 34 to 0.  They couldn't put ONE lousy point up on the board.  Of course, this was the year that I went to the game with my friends and DH* ... while sitting on the Navy sideline.

From 2003-2004, Army lost 13 games in a row!  That means that fans did not see a win for over a year!  However, they are 2-2 this season (thank goodness) and they will be coming to Philadelphia on the 17th of October, to fight against Temple University. 

My plans are as follows: 1. Wearing my army shirt, army sweatshirt and my new army pullover with my army earrings!  2. Bringing a posterboard that says "Go Army, Beat Temple" and make a fool out of myself.  3. Bring a camera, so that we can record my hilarious behavior.  Then I will proceed to sent it to my deployed DH.

Anyone else interested in joining me?  If not, tell me about your crazy sports obsessions!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Why I love being a Military Spouse ... sometimes!

Last Sunday, a close friend and I made the trek from my house all the way to Fort Dix.  This was the first time my friend had been a military base, let alone a PX, and I knew that she would be delighted with the discounted prices.

We were just chilling and looking at different perfumes when the makeup lady at the Shiseido counter made eye contact with us and started to chat us up.  As soon as she found out we spoke Korean, her face lit up and rapidly began to tell us about all the new products that Shiseido carried.  Soon we both ended up purchasing the "Pureness Start Up Kit" which comes with the following products:

From top to bottom: Pureness Deep Cleansing Foam, Pureness Balancing Softener, Pureness Matifying Moisturizer (Oil-Free)

As I was purchasing the start-up kit, I was really starting to regret my decision.  I really felt pressured into buying the product because the makeup counter lady was so nice to me and because she tried so hard to convince me about the product, I just could not refuse her!  For $27 bucks, was the kit really, truly worth it?

So I went home that night thinking "this bad boy better work..." and went into the bathroom to see the miraculous effects that the makeup lady promised me and my friend.  After I removed all my make up, I used the deep cleansing foam all over my face.  I followed the directions on the label (concentric circles) and washed my face off.  Strangely enough, this foam really seemed to help my oily skin.  What I mean to say is that the foam literally SUCKED the oil off my face.

So far so good.  Next, I dried my face and used a cotton round to apply the Balancing Softener.  This left my skin feeling very clean and red free (like using toner).  Nothing too special here.  Then I proceed to the final step: Matifying Moisturizer.  This moisturizer absorbed into the face and my skin felt dry after one application.

The results: after using these products for almost a week, I have noticed a HUGE difference in my skin.  My skin is sooo soft!  As soft as a baby's bottom (I mean that literally).  I never thought that my skin could go back to the way it was more than 10 years ago.  However, I am truly grateful to the pushy makeup counter lady because she was right, my skin looks and feels years younger.  I love that I was able to purchase the start up kit for only $27 vs. $50+ at the local mall.  Yes, sometimes being a military spouse definitely has it's perks!

So the next time you're at the PX, please check out the Shiseido MakeUp Counter.  The products are definitely worth your notice.


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