Friday, October 30, 2009

The Time Traveler's Wife - The Movie

I read the book The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger a while ago just for fun.  I actually thought the book was well written and had a very interesting concept.  It did drag a little in the middle but picked back up when Henry (main character) met his daughter Alba for the first time.  I enjoyed the read and it comes highly recommended from me.  

However, I hadn't had a chance to see the movie until tonight.  What I realized is that this is absolutely the WORST movie to see while your spouse is deployed.  What a MISTAKE!  Holy Crap.  I feel like the time traveler's wife.  I feel like my husband comes and goes, in and out of my life (although I usually have an idea of when he's going and for how long.  I also know when he's coming back...roughly).  But WOW... I feel as like "Clare" sometimes, forever waiting for my husband to come back home. 

Oh my goodness, all I have to say is if you're significant other is away from you right now ... read the book but definitely don't watch the movie.  My heart is pounding a million miles a minute right now... I am definitely really emotional and I think I might just cry....

Sunday, October 25, 2009

"You know You're a Military Spouse ..."

.... when your favorite couch throw is a 'woobie.'

Now I don't know if other military branches issue a "woobie" but the army certainly does!  What is a "woobie?"  It is actually a poncho liner made from nylon with a polyester filling.  Your "woobie" provides just the right amount of warmth in cool weather.  Many soldiers use it as an extra blanket, a sleeping bag, or a throw blanket for their living room.

Although there are so many beautiful throws blankets out there, many military families prefer their "woobies."  Perhaps because it is so lightweight and comfortable.  Perhaps because we don't want to invest the $50 to buy a nice hotel luxury heavyweight chenille throw (ahh...). Or perhaps because the "woobie" is machine washable, durable and pet friendly.  Yes, it's definitely a bit tacky but nylon just feels so good against your skin!

My "woobie" is currently in the sandbox with my DH.  Sometimes, I think that I should have fought harder to keep our "woobie" at home...

I can not sleep without...

I am a very light sleeper.  I wake up every time my DH shifts in the bed, snores, makes funny whining noise (oh wait... that's me!) etc... I am also extremely sensitive to sunlight.  Once the sun hits my face, my biological clock tells me that it time to wake up, no matter how unreasonably early it might be (you know... eight is early!).

Since purchasing my sleep mask, I have slept like a baby all night long.  I seriously will not sleep well without my mask.  The mask is gentle, breathable and block out all the light in the morning.  I feel more rested and alert after sleeping with my sleep mask.

However, I have this tendency of losing things... all the time.  There are times when I have lost my sleep mask for a couple of nights at a time, desperately searching throughout the apartment trying to find it.  In total, I have three different sleep masks because of this particular ... ah... problem.

So don't blame your bed, the pillows, or the sheets if you're not getting good night's sleep*; Just buy a sleep mask!

*Alright fine.  It might be your squeaky bed, your flat pillows and your crappy sheets.  But it doesn't hurt to try the sleep mask!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hello Kitty Underwear

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can convince my DH to wear the following?

When I was in high school, my nickname was Hello Kitty (something about how pale I was and the pigtails...).  Since then, I've always loved Hello Kitty products (although I've given them up since I've gotten married).  I was looking online for the newest Hello Kitty products when I came across this pair of underwear.  I can't seem to find where they are selling these though...

Oh my goodness!  I NEED TO GET THIS CORSET!  Lol... if only they sold this at Fredericks!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tired of Sleeping Alone

I am tired of sleeping alone.
Yes, I am very lucky to be married to a wonderful and loving husband.
Even though our bed is woefully tight at times...
I am sick of going to bed by myself.
No, my cats don't count.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"You know You're a Military Spouse ..." Series

I am starting a new "You know you're a military spouse if ..." series.  Why?  Probably because I am running out of topics of military related issues.  It is becoming increasingly difficult to write about personal problems regarding the military when I live way off-post and my DH is deployed.

Our topic of today: You know you're a military spouse ... when you can't remember the last four digits of your social security number.

This happens to me all the time!  I have memorized my social security number since my senior year of high school.  I wrote it down hundreds of time since then for college applications, transcriptions, medical records, job applications, etc... Yet, ever since I got married, there are times when I have to take a moment before answering the USAA bank operator.

If you ask for my DH's social security number, I can rattle it off in my sleep.  When I am asked for my own SSN, I get confused and mix up the numbers!  Completely ridiculous.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Upcoming R&R

After approximately 1 million hours of intensive and comprehensive research, I have finally finalized the plans for our upcoming R&R.

My DH and I will be spend our first couple of nights at a cozy Pennsylvania B&B; this room includes a King-sized bed, two-person whirlpool bath and gas fireplace.  Then we will be travelling to Jamaica!  4.5 star hotel, white beaches, free-alcoholic beverages and butler service for five nights and six days.  Come home again and spend some quality time with our two cute and adorable cats.  I am so excited and I can't wait!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Care Packages

Since I no longer live on or near a military post/base/camp (lol...) and because my DH is deployed, topics of why I am a terrible military spouse are becoming a bit scarce.  However, there are always something to write about.

Care Packages.  I hate sending care packages.  Not because I don't love my husband!  It honestly has nothing to do with that at all!  It's because I always get a huge box and I start to run out of stuff to put into them.  I also have trouble finding good care package items.

All those "lists" have items like Gatorade mixes, beef jerky and toiletries.  However, my DH never wants me to send him any of those things.  Last time, he asked for tuna, nuts, microwaveable rice, cup ramen, headphones, a korean-english dictionary, a mixed cd, movies, and workout gloves.  If my DH had not sent me this list, I would have ended up giving him twenty bags of goldfish snacks and a pair of dumbbells!

My poor DH doesn't get a care package from me very often.  He got one every two to three weeks the first time he was deployed whether or not he asked for one.  Yet, I have only sent my husband packages when he's asked for them during this deployment.  I have also not sent as many handwritten letters as I had the first time around.

Is this laziness?  Lack of motivation?  I'm not sure if I truly want to dig too much deeper into my own psyche and try to find the underlying reason for my behavior.  I think I'm just going to blame it on the fact that I truly am the world's worst military spouse =D.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I love my DH

My DH said that I was making him look like the bad guy on my blog. So I just want you to know... I love you! I miss you terribly and can't wait for R&R so that we can spend some quality time with one another. Muah!

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Re-deployment Ceremony

Recently, another blogger Bethany shared about how anxious she is about waiting for her fiancee to come home.  I was in her shoes only a couple of years ago. Just thinking about her at home, patiently waiting for her man to come back, really pushed me to write about my own experience of my DH's re-deployment*.

At the time, my DH was stationed out of Fort Carson,Colorado; the beautiful and majestic mountain post.  This was his first deployment to Iraq and he was scheduled to come back to the states on the 31st of December**.  I was living in Philadelphia area at the time, finishing up my masters degree, working a part-time job, interning at behavioral/mental clinic, and planning a wedding.  However, I felt that time was just dragging her feet.  I was so excited about seeing my DH for the first time in 9 months but also so nervous about what it would be like to finally have him home.  I wondered what it would be like to hug him and kiss him.  I daydreamed about my outfit and spent hours meticulously planning the perfect one.   When I finally bought my airplane ticket to Colorado, I prayed that his unit would come soon so that I wouldn't miss his re-deployment ceremony or miss him altogether!

I didn't sleep the night before my plane left Philadelphia (it was also a six am flight).  When I finally landed in Colorado, I was greeted by my DH's friend Jon and we left to meet his parents.  Jon was in the same unit as my DH but came in a few days earlier.  His parents were still in town so the four of us went to check in on post around 2:00 PM.

When I stepped into that huge hanger/auditorium/basketball court, I was really jittery! They had put up balloons, a huge American flag on the wall and people were waiting around, excitedly talking to one another.  I walked in a little bit further and came onto a desk.  The person behind the desk asked "What unit is your service member in ma'am?"   At the preciese moment, my mind completely went blank.  I seriously could not remember what unit my DH was in.  I must have given her this weird face because she looked at me with an expression of extreme disappointment and annoyance.  Thankfully, Jon was there, so he answered her question.   However, she told us that my DH's flight had been delayed and that his unit's ceremony would start at 6:00 PM.

So there was nothing much that I could do for the next few hours but wait.  Jon and his parents went to go grab some lunch but I was too nervous to eat.  There was another re-deployment ceremony at 3:00 PM and I wanted to watch it before my DH came (so that I could prepare myself).  I told them that I would save them seats and waved them goodbye.

The first re-deployment ceremony was simple and brief.  Over 200 soldiers stood in front of a large audience longingly waiting for the ceremony to be over so that they could see their families.  I could see little children were crying out when they recognized their father or mother in the sea of faces and family members holding them back until the end.  When the general finally yelled "Dismissed," you saw a flood of soldiers running to be hugged by their loved ones and tears freely flowing down everyone's faces.  Children ran to their parents, yelling "I missed you."  It is honestly a moment that I can never forget.

I tried very hard to keep my tears back as I watched these families being reunited with one another.  Slowly, the families dispersed out of the hanger and I was left alone to wait for the 6:00 ceremony.  Jon and his parents came back to around 5:30 and we sat around waiting for the ceremony to begin.  Twice, someone came up to the podium to apologize for the delay and we did not see our soldiers walking in through the big double doors until 7:30 PM.

I numbly sat through the National Anthem, the speech, the singing of the Army song, waiting for my DH to be released.  Throughout the entire 15 minute ceremony, I searched through every face of the 200+ men and women, trying desperately to find my DH.  When the soldiers were finally dismissed, I was panicked because neither Jon, his parents nor I could find him through the chaos of reuniting families.

About two minutes when by when Jon pointed towards the right side of the hanger and said "Hey! Isn't that him?  He looks tall, dark and Asian!" I turned my head so quickly to the place the he was pointing to that I almost had a severe case of whiplash.  However, the man that Jon was pointing to turned out to be another tall, dark and Asian man (what are the odds?).

Several more minutes went by and finally I spotted my DH in the middle of the hanger; his head was hanging low and he looked very forlorn.  I shoved my video camera into Jon's hand, ran down the bleachers, weaved through a million people,and when I finally reached my soldier, he gave me a surprised look and a great big ole smile as he took me into his arms.

My DH tried to kiss me but I told him that we couldn't because we were being videotaped (I didn't think our parents wanted to see us make out)***.  From the moment I said these words, I began to earnestly cry.  I was so thankful and grateful to God to allowing him to come home safely.  The deployment had really tested the strength of our relationship and taken a toll on both of us but we were finally together again.

*Re-deployment: how stupid is this word?  It's really confusing for civilians and military spouses (like me).  The words makes it sound like you're going to another deployment, not coming back from one.

** My DH's deployment was extended from the original 12 months to a 15 month deployment.  George W. Bush signed a bill that would give soldiers an extra $1000 bucks for each month after their 12 month initial deployment date.  Technically, the military had to pay soldiers the extra money for each DAY that they were on their deployment; so if the soldier came back on the 1st of January the soldiers would be entitled to the extra $1000 bonus. He came home on the 31st of December and not the first of January because the military did not want to pay him an extra $1000. I personally would have given the $3000 back to have my DH come home three months early.

*** I watched the video tape afterwards and you can see me pointing towards Jon and his parents.  This was the moment when I told him that we couldn't just make out because I thought our families + Jon would be grossed out my our intimate moment!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

"I was away for too long..."

Military relationships are notorious for producing affairs.  There are so many stories of military relationships failing due to one or both parties falling prey to their own physical and emotional desires.  Honestly, can you blame someone for having an affair when their partners are away for months at a time? No, How about if the deployed service member ignores his/her partner and doesn't keep in touch their their partner at home?  What if the deployed service member is the one conducting the affair?

What bothers me the most is that servicemembers are not responsible for their actions while they are away from home*.  The servicemember's partner get more heat (especially if they live on post) about the infidelity because they failed their partner who were serving overseas, putting their lives on the line.

An affair is the product of BOTH parties.  The lack of communication, laziness in martial duties, decrease commitment towards one another increases the likelihood of extramarital relations.  The phrase "I was away for too long" is an excuse for the lack of effort.**

*Alright, I'm not stupid.  I know that there are consequences for the servicemember as well.  Yes, you would be violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  When there is sufficient proof that the affair took place then punishments range from a simple reprimand to a court-martial.  In this blog, I just want to highlight the extra blame and guilt the non-deployed or civilian spouse suffer because of their mistake.

** Please note: this post is really just a rant and simplified version of the infidelity argument.  So please, don't bash my post... too much!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

How many times have you heard this phrase from your significant other?  "I'll make it up to you, I promise!"  I hate hearing these words from my DH.  I mean I've heard it so many times!  "I have to go into work early" or "I have to stay at work late" or "I can't fly out this weekend because of a training" or my favorite, "we have to go to this hail and farewell" etc.  There is nothing he can do to make up the precious moments (years really) that the military takes away from our personal lives.  Sometimes I seriously wonder what he could possibly do to make it up and it's not even his fault (well, I guess he did make the choice to join the military).

Well, I didn't get to choose who I fell in love with*.  There are many times when I feel stuck by the limited and crappy choices that the military gives us and we just have to make the best of an awful situation.

I have to admit that I haven't personally heard this phrase in a while.  Not because there isn't an issue that would require my husband to feel guilty but I honestly think it's because I've just learned to stop complaining about the military.

One of the ways that my DH is planning on "making it up to me" spending our upcoming R&R time at a faraway bech.  Yet, I have to wonder, is it worth it?  Would I rather spend two glorious weeks on a beautiful resort with my husband who will pamper with me with massages and great food once a year or would I prefer to be with him day in and day out even though it means that we might get into more arguments because we would have more time to interact with one another?

Honestly, I would pick the latter and save the "make it up to me's." Besides, the sad thing about it is... after the hundreds of times that he's told me this, this seems to be the FIRST time he is making it up to me. A bit unfair, don't ya think?

* I don't want to hear "oh, but you did have a choice."  No, I did not! So shut it.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Frederick's of Hollywood

The King of Prussia Mall is largest mall on the East Coast and I am lucky enough to live 15 minutes away!  This place has over 400 stores including Tiffany's, Cartier, Bloomingdale's, Nordstrom, and of course, Louis Vuitton.

I was at the mall with my friend when we decided to stop by Frederick's of Hollywood.  For those who don't know, Fredrick's of Hollywood sells very sexy lingerie.  Right now, they have the sexiest Halloween costumes at affordable prices.  As I looked around, I saw these cute corsets and I had to try them on.

I have always wanted to buy a tie up corset but I was afraid.  I didn't know if someone with my body could look good... even sexy, in something so skimpy.  However, all I can say is that corsets really show off all the curves of your body!  Even if your body shape is less than perfect, a corset will produce curves in all the right places.  When I sat down in my corset, I immediately noticed that my posture improves because the boning forces you to sit up straight.

Guess my DH has something to look forward to when he comes home =D


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Trader Joe's

I know that many of you live on post so you probably shop at the commissary.  However, I must write a plug-in for Trader Joe's!  What a great store; the food is of terrific quality, the workers are so friendly and the prices are great.

They carry everything there.  Looking for olives?  How about some Soy IceCream?  They even have Korean BBQ ribs for $7.99 a bag (perhaps not worth it for me, since I can make my own).  Need to buy gluten-free flour?  How about vegan meatballs?  Kosher items?  Low Sodium?  They even have their own brand of pet products including doggie bones and cat kibble.  They have sushi, a large assortment of cheese, granola, and even cuts of meat!  There is no need to go to your local grocery store.

Around the holidays they stock up on the "Peppermint JoJo's."  They are the Trader Joe's version of the oreo, with crushed peppermint candy mixed into the cream.  They are so delicious!  As my DH knows, I am in love with all this peppermint (shampoo, soap, and definitely the candy).

So please check out their website: Trader's Joes.  Find a store near you!


So my husband wanted to comment on my Korean wives post (the one I wrote several days ago).  Apparently there is something wrong with my post but I have no idea what it is because I asked my DH not to tell me.  I was in a really bad mood today and I didn't think that I could handle listening to his criticism.

Criticism vs Concern: Criticism is when you disapprove through the expression of fault or shortcoming.  A concern is an interest where you express what is important to you or affects you.  I hear his comment towards my blog entry as a criticism.  Yes, I understand that he cares about me and he wants me to get the facts straight.  However, this is due to my obvious shortcoming (in his opinion) about my knowledge surrounding the topic of other military Korean wives.  ::sigh::  maybe he's right but honestly,  I don't want to hear it.  I am extremely shy about my writing and I did not ask for a critique on my writing style or the subjects that I am writing about.

I feel judged by my DH's comments.  I guess in my head, I just always want to be right and perfect in his eyes.  Yet, when I don't live up to that expectation (because of something he said) then the insecurities begin to fester inside me.  I begin to question everything he is says to me; minutely analyzing each sentence, trying to figure out if there is a hidden meaning behind his words.

I guess it's important to me that my DH finds me well informed and educated about many different topics.  I want to please my DH by showing off my intelligence.  Craziness huh?  Pretty insecure you say?  I am ok with it.  I'd rather be completely honest about myself.


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