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What bothers me the most is that servicemembers are not responsible for their actions while they are away from home*. The servicemember's partner get more heat (especially if they live on post) about the infidelity because they failed their partner who were serving overseas, putting their lives on the line.
An affair is the product of BOTH parties. The lack of communication, laziness in martial duties, decrease commitment towards one another increases the likelihood of extramarital relations. The phrase "I was away for too long" is an excuse for the lack of effort.**
*Alright, I'm not stupid. I know that there are consequences for the servicemember as well. Yes, you would be violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice. When there is sufficient proof that the affair took place then punishments range from a simple reprimand to a court-martial. In this blog, I just want to highlight the extra blame and guilt the non-deployed or civilian spouse suffer because of their mistake.
** Please note: this post is really just a rant and simplified version of the infidelity argument. So please, don't bash my post... too much!
1 comments:
This is a really touchy subject! I applaud you for writing about it! I witnessed a friend go through this whole ordeal with her husband. He met a woman while he was deployed and asked for a divorce, so my friend decided to look elsewhere as well! Well, the overseas woman ended up dumping her husband, and he wanted my friend back, and she had already moved on. It's such a bad situation...she was labeled as the "whore," and he was just supposed to be forgiven for asking for a divorce after she'd waited for him for 7 months while he was deployed?! It's totally a double standard. It takes a VERY strong relationship to survive a deployment...and unfortunately, the just didn't have that solid foundation. It's very sad...and I hate that military couples are stereotyped this way. It's no different than civilian couples! And there are a LOT of military couples that have healthy, happy relationships. I'm very lucky to be in that category :) Thanks for talking about this...it needed to be said!
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