Tuesday, March 30, 2010

My Job Description...

I had this up on my facebook for a while but I thought that I would post it up here...

Army Wife
I am a supporter of the US Army.  I am proud of my husband for serving his country.  I am loyal to the vows we made on our wedding day.  I try to encourage my husband each day (even when we are apart).  I sincerely pray for his well being each night.

I spend our anniversaries, holidays and birthdays apart.  I have spent more time apart from him than together.  When he is deployed, I can not call him (which is especially frustrating if/when we have an argument). 

I live where the Army tells me to live.  My career is sometimes put on hold because I move around so much.  I am on a first name basis with the workers at the post office because I mail so many packages.  I can not hold my husband's hand on post when he is in uniform. I constantly worry about seeing two men dressed in Class A's approaching my door.  I sleep alone.  I patiently wait for my husband to return home from war. 

Thursday, March 11, 2010

"You Know You're A Military Spouse..."

... you have enough camouflage in your house to wallpaper the White House ...

My DH does not throw out his ACU's ... ever.  In preparation for our move to California, I was just rummaging through all our clothes and I found 7 pairs of ACU's in our main closet.  This doesn't include the extra ACU's in trunks, the bureau, army bags, storage and the extra pairs of BDU's* lying around.

My DH recently sent me army box (the huge green metallic ones) from Iraq and when I opened it, surprise, surprise, I found another pair of ACU's.  Did I mention that he has never bought a pair of ACU's... they are all Army issued...

Compared to other military personnel, I understand that my DH has a very low number of camouflage.  Yet, I am sure that if I stacked all his uniforms it would definitely come up to my chest (and I'm pretty tall!).

At this point, I am sick of opening a drawer and uncovering another pair of ACU's ... can't wait until we get out!

* I miss the BDU's ... it made my DH look so sexy!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Things You Should Not Say To A Military Spouse - Part I

"This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it." 

A civilian friend of mine is in her first relationship... ever.  During the summer, her boyfriend of seven months went away on vacation for ten days.  The day before he was to return back to the states she had the audacity to tell me "This separation is more difficult for me and Tom because this is my first relationship and this is our first separation ever.  You and your DH have been together for a long time and this is your second deployment, so it's easier for your guys..."

I was blown away by her comment.  When my DH is deployed, I put up a front for my friends so I don't burden them with my disappointment, anger, resentment, and bitterness towards my relationship, my DH and the Army. 

I acknowledge that this was this girl's first relationship and understand how difficult it must have been for to be separated from her first boyfriend for the first time especially since they've spent every day and every moment with one another. 

However, is is never ok to comment on my personal experience.  You don't know how I am dealing with my spouse's deployment.  Yes, I have finally learned to cope; to sleep alone in my bed, to stop feeling anxious about every news report, to stop worrying so much that I lose sleep at night.  Most of my civilian friends don't understand how difficult this time is for me; especially because I live off post and I don't have a strong support system of other military wives.

Please do not compare your 7 month relationship to my 5 year relationship with my DH (BTW we were married longer than the entire length of their relationship) and rationalize that your experience is more difficult than my own.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

New Blog Layout

I promised myself that once I got 30+ followers on my blog I would pay someone to redo my layout.  One part of me is saying that I should wait until I have 50+ followers;  the other part of me is telling me that I'll never get there so I might as well just shell out the cash now.

Now I know that there are a couple of people out there who will personalize a blog for some moolah but I really need suggestions.  Please help me by posting some of your favorite designers!  Thank you!

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Makings of a Stepford Military Spouse - RANK

You married the man, not the rank ... right? There are so many military wives out there who wear their husbands rank as their own. This REALLY gets on my nerve.

What really gets me is that the military promotes this sort of behavior! For example, my DH and I just had a huge discussion about how I would have to become *very* active in the FRG if he were to become a Company Commander. This really pisses me off. WHY?! Why do I have to take time out of my schedule and join the FRG? Alright, fine. Everyone has to go to the meetings. BUT, why do I have to ACTIVELY participate?! What difference does it make that I married an officer vs. enlisted soldier?

My DH explained that my behaviors would be a reflection on his military career. We would have to set an example to other military couples. Are you kidding me? I would make the WORSE role models for young couples. My DH and I fight all the time. What in the world would they learn from us?!

This also means that I can never make a mistake. I have to be the flawless military spouse all the time and that's an act that I'm really going to have trouble perfecting.

I married my DH for his kind and genuine heart, not because he was an officer. I didn't marry him so that I could lead a FRG (which I don't have to do ... thank GOD!). I don't want to constantly have to make small talk with people I don't know or don't care to know. As you can tell, I am pretty darn picky about my friends.

I don't want to have petty arguments with other uptight wives who believe that they are better than other people due to their husband's rank? Did you earn it?! You are not entitled to the rank because you don't wear it! And I am willing to bet that if all those wives married enlisted men, they would have actually been normal. We're all on the same team!

My commitment: I will strive to do my best to NEVER EVER EVER allow my DH's to become my own. Also, I will NEVER get involved with the military politics that involve rank related activities on post. 

Please do not misunderstand me but I don't love the military. I am very proud of my DH and support him and his career but I cannot wait until we get out of the Army.

Now, do you think that I should be a company commander's wife? I really think not. I am seriously the world's worst military spouse.

*If my DH gets this company command position and someone we knew read my blog, I'd be really screwed... there aren't that many Korean American couples in the Army.*

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