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"This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
A civilian friend of mine is in her first relationship... ever. During the summer, her boyfriend of seven months went away on vacation for ten days. The day before he was to return back to the states she had the audacity to tell me "This separation is more difficult for me and Tom because this is my first relationship and this is our first separation ever. You and your DH have been together for a long time and this is your second deployment, so it's easier for your guys..."
I was blown away by her comment. When my DH is deployed, I put up a front for my friends so I don't burden them with my disappointment, anger, resentment, and bitterness towards my relationship, my DH and the Army.
I acknowledge that this was this girl's first relationship and understand how difficult it must have been for to be separated from her first boyfriend for the first time especially since they've spent every day and every moment with one another.
However, is is never ok to comment on my personal experience. You don't know how I am dealing with my spouse's deployment. Yes, I have finally learned to cope; to sleep alone in my bed, to stop feeling anxious about every news report, to stop worrying so much that I lose sleep at night. Most of my civilian friends don't understand how difficult this time is for me; especially because I live off post and I don't have a strong support system of other military wives.
Please do not compare your 7 month relationship to my 5 year relationship with my DH (BTW we were married longer than the entire length of their relationship) and rationalize that your experience is more difficult than my own.
