Commissary

Since my husband has been deployment, I rarely go to the commissary*.  When I lived VA, I went to the commissary a couple of times a week.  The prices were great, the people were nice and I could always find the items on my grocery list.

Although the closest commissary is about an hour away from the house, the distance is not the reason why I refuse to go back to the commissary.  The real reason are the Korean workers.  Alright, so this may sound racist to you but I assure you that this is not my intent, so please read on.

These women married soldiers during the Korean War and were rejected by their families and rejected by the American society.  In all sincerity, I applaud these women; They have followed their husbands to a new country and tried to assimilate into a new world and culture.  Many of them still struggle to grasp a new language and have suffered the last thirty years in silence against some husbands who have been extremely controlling and suppressive towards their wives.

Now, if you can imagine this following scene: I am a twenty five year old, Korean American army spouse.  I speak Korean fluently as well as English and I am happily married to my DH, who is also Korean American. (Read: Young, Korean American, who married another Korean American and speaks fluent English).  When I walk into the Commissary, many older Korean wives are startled by my presence.  As I'm in the check out line, many wives as me if I'm Korean, they they ask me if I speak Korean and then they ask me if I'm from Korea.  Sometimes, they greet me with happy and excited faces when I explain my situation but most of the time, I get jealous looks from these wives.

I was lucky enough to marry another Korean American man, someone who understand my cultural background.  I don't have any trouble working the Army system because I am fully able to understand and comprehend English.  I am lucky enough to have received my masters degree in social work and I am able to work outside of the home, in a career field that I have chosen.  I am not limited to working at the Commissary because I have no other choice.  I feel extremely awkward around these women because I am fully aware of how privileged I am compared to them.  There seems to be some invisible hierarchy and without my knowledge I have somehow reached the top of that ladder.  

So to my many Military Korean Wives sisters ... please, do not treat me differently.  Please treat me as your equal; just another military spouse who struggles with the daily disappointments and happiness of this military life.

*Enchante*

*The commissary is the military version of the grocery store.

About Enchante

Earlier today, I was browsing through some articles that outlined how you can get more people to read your blog.  In one of the articles I read, they suggested that I give more personal information about myself to my readers ... so here goes.

I am a twenty five year old, Korean American, Christian, social worker.  I am the oldest of two daughters and I got married in June of 2008.  My husband is a solider in the Army and is currently deployed on a MiTT to Iraq.  I strive to be supportive towards my husband's career although I complain a lot about how much I hate his job.  I currently reside in the suburbs of Philadelphia and I love to go out and spending quality time with friends, especially to new restaurants.  

Interests include knitting, reading, blogging, surfing the web for useless information, watching extremely addicting Korean dramas, playing board games, supporting Army Football, playing football, soccer, and lacrosse,  baking delicious desserts (especially cookies), and spending time with my two cats.

I love to blog because it helps me to release some of the stress of being alone and miserable while I patiently wait for my husband to return home.  This way, I don't have to complain directly to my husband (he can just read it online!).

*Enchante*

Mile High IceCream Pie

My work partner and I had a couple of hours to spare so we decided to go to Applebee's and snack on some appetizers.  We were looking over the menus when we saw a picture of this delicious looking dessert... decadent, peanut buttery, chocolate ice cream with an Oreo crust and whipped cream top.  

I mean... could you give this up?  The temptation was too much for both of us and we DIVED into this chocolaty deliciousness.  As I was stuffing my face, I started to feel guilty because I wasn't able to share this dessert with my DH (not that he would eat it... he's on a diet, the fatty =P).  But I was feeling sad because we weren't able to share something so simple as a plate of dessert because he's so far away.  I feel cheated out of the quality time that I am able to spend with him in this lifetime.  Sure, it's only a year but it's a year more than the civilians who get to spend all their time with one another.  It's 365 days more than the other military spouses who are lucky enough to have their partners at home.

I honestly thought about the math in this way: If another military spouse and I got married on the same day, and everyone died on the same day, then she would have gotten to spend one more year with their spouse than I got to spend with my DH.  I know, it's a bit morbid but I guess I just calculated in this way because it helps to illustrate my jealously.  

I definitely think that I should just stop eating desserts because the guilt of not being able to share it with my spouse will help me from gaining anymore weight! 

*Enchante*

Car Trouble

As I was driving back from Fort Dix, my check engine light came on ... so naturally, I started to freak out!  I know nothing about cars.  So the first thing I wanted to do was call my DH ... oh wait!  He's deployed, never mind.  So instead of getting upset that I have to get up early and take my car to the nearest dealership/mechanic, I starting getting upset with my DH.

I was upset that he wasn't here in the states so that he can fix the car.  Since he's the male, he's the one that's suppose to fix these sort of problems.  Then I had to hit myself over the head... what?  I can't take care of a car problem without a man?  What I'm really upset with is the fact that he's not home and I'm feeling lonely.  I am a strong, independent woman and I don't need my DH to take care of the car issues!

I was upset with my deployed husband?!  What the heck is wrong with me?

*Enchante*

Why I am the World's Worst Military Spouse

Today, I realized that I am the world's worst military spouse.  I knew that this day would be unavoidable and now it is finally here.  Why am I the world's worst military spouse you ask?  Well, there are so many different reasons but I will share only one in this particular blog.

I spent the whole morning cleaning my apartment (top to bottom) and decided to take a shower when I received a phone call from a random stranger named "Candy."  Candy's husband has just deployed to Iraq on a *MiTT (Military Transition Team) like my own Dear Husband (DH) and wanted to set up a meeting time and date for all the local family members who also have deployed soldiers on MiTT.  Although my husband deployed out of Fort Riley, Kansas, I currently reside near a large Metropolitan city on the East Coast of the U.S.

As we talked about the posts that we have visited and lived in, she shared a story about a Captain's wife who was so devoted to the Army, the post and to her husband that she made a website for her husband MiTT members and sent out a monthly newsletter to inform others of the teams progress while deployed.

Now, I will be frank with all of you.  Not only am I not technically savvy enough to build my own website, I am too damn lazy to send out monthly newsletters to other spouses and family members.  Perhaps my laziness is due to the knowledge that my DH is not the highest ranking soldier on his team, or perhaps it because I am too tired after my long day as a family therapist.  Or perhaps (here comes the truth) I don't really care to get to involved with the Army because I am sick of this deployment and I know that my DH and I won't be in for much longer.

Please don't get me wrong.  I support my husband and I support all the soldiers out there (deployed or not).  However, I would rather put my face is a huge vat of dead rats than run an FRG meeting.  I don't want to get involved in the politics of the military social life, the immature debate of your spouses rank, or become so immersed in the fraternity like culture of the Army that I no longer have an identity as anyone else but a "military spouse."

Today, I am the world's worse military spouse because I am under involved in organizing and assisting others in their attempt to create a more cohesive and supportive military spouse and family involvement in my own neighborhood.

*Enchante*